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The Most Appropriate Rape Verdict Ever – Mahmood Farooqui Vs Consent

Feeble. Ergo strong

Mahmood Farooqui [Image credit Wikimedia Commons]

There is reason for women to celebrate. From today, it does not matter if you consent to sex or not. The other party can take anything you do or say as a ‘yes’. Isn’t that just great? In a country that calls marital rape, ‘sex,’ we now have a winner. The verdict in the Mahmood Farooqui rape case.

Mahmood Farooqui, is a director who is known for his work ‘Peepli Live’ and was accused of rape by a research scholar from Columbia University. The allegation was that he had, in March, 2015, raped the woman at his place. The trial court had awarded seven years of jail term for Farooqui. The Delhi High Court just exonerated him stating the ten most powerful and logical reasons ever. Because India, da!

Here they are.

The court said it was doubtful that such an incident described by the woman had happened at all.

Of course. That’s why she let her friend know as soon as possible that something was wrong. Women also like making complaints and walking in and out of courts. So we are like, in the evenings, having coffee and planning on making one complaint of rape or one of sexual assault. Just like that. That’s what we do.

The verdict said that in case the incident had taken place, Farooqui was not able to understand if consent was given or not.

So it is every woman’s responsibility that they educate men what consent is and what their consent looks like. Men be like, she said ‘no’, but it could mean yes. She is a woman, after all. When women say ‘stop’, they are like that definitely means that we should go on.Farooqui was pushed away by the woman but that definitely meant ‘yes’ according to Delhi High Court dictionary. She also kept pushing her underwear back when he pulled it down, he pinned her down with his physical strength but of course. The man was drunk and he couldn’t understand any of those and that definitely is the woman’s fault.

And then when a woman is not in a position to say no or even cry out loud, men could mistake it for consent. They are all babies that need to be fed with patriarchy every day during all meals. Actually, here is what we should do.

Women should employ (never mind the women who can’t afford it. They don’t matter anyway) a private tutor. This tutor should go to every male the woman might interact with and give them consent training. This is what is going to solve the rape problem in this country. Forever.

A woman’s ‘feeble no’ might mean a ‘yes’.

So, according to this theory, when a gun is held against your head and you are asked ‘Do you want to die?’ your feeble (because you are peeing in your pants and are scared) ‘no’ means that you want to die. Okay let me go get that gun right away.

If the parties are known to each other, consent is confusing.

That’s really a nice observation. Especially when it is coupled with the fact that 90% of rape in this country is done by people who are known to the victim. So men are like, I am raping her but because I know her, I am confused if she is consenting or not. Oh by the way, I am confused about everything in life.

In sex, one of the partners might be a ‘bit hesitant’ and this cannot be called negation.

Yeah. It’s like asking someone if they want to smoke. If the person is a bit hesitant, the most normal reaction should be to light a cigarette and fit it in their lips. That’s how to go about it. Totally.

A person who has been violated against her wishes will not use simple reproach.

That’s why women don’t even reproach most of the time, after rape. Some cook breakfast for the rapist the next day. That’s why it takes years for women to even gather the courage to report rape. Maybe that’s why our courts also ask women to marry the men who raped them. Makes a shit load of sense.

The Most Appropriate Rape Verdict Ever award goes toooooo Mahmood Farooqui Vs Consent case, 2017. Yo! Where’s that champagne?

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