We are getting tired writing about CBFC – Central Board of Film Certification aka the Censor Board. But guess what? This Denser Board just doesn’t get tired of being dense. It looks like some sort of vow they took when they married the BJP government: to be stupid, intolerant and forever loyal to Hindutva. I can imagine Pankaj Nihalani doing the saat phere (a custom in Hindu weddings) holding Modi’s hand all the while chanting these vows. The latest oil in Nihalani’s vow-keeping fire is Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
India’s Perennial Problem: Cow
The Denser Board stopped the release of a documentary film on Amartya Sen. The director of the film, Suman Ghosh, also an economist, was told that it would get a UA certificate if certain words in the film were ‘beeped’. Yeah because our (hindutva) sanskar (culture) can’t stand these words. The filmmaker refused to do this. Want to know what these words are?
- Hindutva view of India
- Hindu India
These were words spoken by Amartya Sen in the documentary and our poor uncle Denser didn’t like it. The Documentary titled ‘The Argumentative Indian’, clearly borrowing the title of one of Sen’s most renowned works. Maybe the Denser Board haven’t read it because if it had, they would have banned the book and burnt it.
Fuck this beep
Films and filmmakers have in the past, put Denser Board in its place using many innovative methods. So here is an idea. Make sentences. Not any sentence, make sentences with beeps. Like this:
Beep is an animal. Beep gives us milk. But in Beep India, the first beep is god and beep India will kill in the name of mother beep. Beep view of India will murder Muslims. Like how Beep Chief Minister engineered a Muslim genocide in 2002.
How do you like that, eh? How will you worship your god now without your favourite animal sounding like an expletive? Holy beep!