Dear Anti-Romeo Squad, Women Need Your Protection. Please Provide It

Come on, da!

Yogi Adityanath became the Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh. It shocked no one. It could not, after Modi and Trump. Like promised, Yogi sprung into action with his ‘anti-Romeo’ squads. The government would protect the Bharatiya nari from eve-teasing and harassment. Like how feminists had predicted, it turned out to be an exercise in moral policing.

Useless idiots like Amit Shah and Yogi base their brainchild anti-Romeo squad on the following principle. That women need to be protected. Yes, Yogi ji, women do need protection and let’s see what from.

1. Idiots Like You

It is okay to be an idiot. It happens. You sometimes don’t understand how to tell your ass from your elbow and that is pardonable too. But when you preach stupidity it becomes a little difficult for people to ignore it. Like when you say that men become more godly-wait a minute-more godly? So you think men are already godly? Pray tell us why? So men become more godly with feminine traits and women become more demon like if they get male traits. Yes, it is true that the ‘trait’ of men of peeing on roads exhibiting their sex organ to general public is a demon like trait but come on, women will get raped if we ‘get’ that trait. So what ‘manly trait’ are you talking about? We need immediate protection from further bullshit like this.

2. Unprotected Sex

Do you need another reason? The thing is UNprotected. By your own theory, women need protection. So give it. The thing is, thanks to your sensible MPs women have been asked to produce more children. Oh yes, it’s true that it doesn’t apply to all women. It applies to Hindu women only because they are the ones required to produce four children so that ‘the concept of four wives and 40 children won’t work in India.’ Another ‘leader’ asked Hindu women to produce ten children. Human species is different from rabbits, you know. So when you say that Hindu women should give birth to four Hindu children, you are asking them to indulge in unprotected sex. NO. No way women are doing anything unprotected.

3. Police

No, not talking about police protection but protection from police. Ever since you came up with your stupid idea #345, the anti-Romeo squad, they have been up to things that cause a lot of problems to women. It feels as if they are reincarnations of those uncles and aunties women left far behind in a time capsule somewhere around Sati era. You know, those ones who would keep pestering you asking questions about your life which is none of their business? Those ones. Intellect might be a concept that you might not quite get, but there is something like that. You have not seen God but do believe in him, right? So just believe that intellect exists and when we use that, it becomes clear that the ‘squad’ that you created is in fact, just those uncles and aunties now paid by you. Bullies, at best. Women need protection from them.

Also this ‘aunty-uncle squad’ doesn’t do anything when women go to them seeking protection. Usually the squad waits till women are dead. Like eve-teasing, you know, that thing you said you’d ‘protect’ women from, the reason why parents stop girl children from going to school in UP? That.  So when women complain about eve teasing, ‘aunty-uncle squad’ does zilch. Then they come to their abysmal senses when the girl is set to fire. Women don’t want to die like that. Protect us, saviour. Protect us from your police’s inaction.

4. Husband

The thing is that in this great Hindu nation, people ask women to marry people who raped them. Sometimes it also happens that the person that they are married to, rapes them. In which case it won’t even be called rape. Surely, such people will fall into the category of ‘Romeos’ for you? You said that you detect Romeos by the look in their eyes and their posture. It shouldn’t be difficult for you to identify them. Protect us from husbands.

Anti-Romeo uncles and aunties, Yogi ji, would you please do the needful and grant us that damn protection that you promised us from these elements? Right now? Please make sure you start at the start which is the reason why we put you there and not the close contender unprotected sex.

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