Hindi Speaking Parliament. What’s Next? Sanskrit Speaking Schools?

Turning India Hindia

Hindi Speaking Parliament

The President of India and the Union ministers give their speeches in English. Mostly. But this could change. Soon. President Pranab Mukherjee will soon decide,  if speeches by central and state ministers will now deliver speeches in English or Hindi. Given the growing (right wing) urge to encourage the use of Hindi language, this might soon become the norm. Mukherjee has already accepted the recommendation that all ministers and the President, if they are people who know how to speak and read Hindi, will be requested to speak in Hindi. But it doesn’t end there.

Air Hindia

Soon, anybody who does not read or understand Hindi might not be able to use the country’s air service, Air India. They are thinking of printing the tickets in Hindi. Announcements in railways and airlines will also be made in Hindi. Wait a minute. But weren’t these announcements always made in Hindi (too)? The emphasis might be on having the announcement in English after the one in Hindi. This can be called the ‘first in class mentality’ which surfaced a little late in our politicians’ minds. You know how it is over here. Most of them do not get to complete school so, might as well make up for it now. Reasonable, eh?

Hindi – The National Language, Not

So in all this Hindi frenzy may be it is time to finally accept the fact that Hindi, is, just another language in India. Most facts about this language are a taboo subject because hey, how do we then project it as the national language! Which it is not, by the way. That’s right. *Blasphemous fact alert* #1 Hindi is not the national language of India. In fact, the country does not have a national language.

So let’s get to facts for a change. Do you people called politicians, who want India to suddenly become this Hindi speaking nation which shall be called Bharat and shall have its roots firmly set in Sanskrit, have any idea about this country? If you had, you wouldn’t be coming up with this kind of silly strategy. Whether or not you like it, majority of the country do not speak Hindi.

*Blasphemous fact alert* #2

Hindi is the mother tongue of only 25% of people in this country. So saying that Hindi should be the only language of dominance in this nation is like this. There is a class of 100 animals in which 25 are fish. The rest are birds, reptiles, insects etc. Now, imagine that everyone is told that from the next day, classes will be held in water. Yes, that’s what this Hindi frenzy is all about. Making other animals drown.

Sanskrit Speaking Schools

So while the government is busy trying to make people from North East, South India and various 75% of the country drown in the Hindi lake placid, shouldn’t it be concentrating on more important things like, who exactly gets to be a politician in India. Is going to jail okay? Is it okay to lack educational qualifications? Oh by the way, the government also wants Hindi to be taught to students in general, mandatorily because guess what? All students are fish. Those who are not, can drown fail.

Soon, Sanskrit shall be made compulsory too, by the look of it. Sanskrit, if you didn’t know, is that language which nobody speaks. It, in fact is called the dead language. Didn’t get it? Let’s put it in Sanskrit. Mritabhasha. So if burdened by the existing horrendous educational system of the nation, if the students are not already that, they shall be effectively turned into zombies. Oh wait, maybe Sanskrit is the mother tongue of Zombies and that is why the Government is taking to it. They belong to the same species, after all.

Unity in shutting up

It all comes down to this. The phrase ‘Unity in Diversity’ was just a tool for marketing this nation to outsiders. It was so for a reason. The term unity stands for ‘shut up’. That is, if you have to be ‘unified’ you have to shut up and start speaking in the language the country asks you to. You are already eating the food they asks you to.You are wearing the clothes that they ask you to. If you don’t, you ill be beaten, killed or raped. Diversity stands for those who have to shut up. Women. Muslims. Non Hindi speaking people. The best thing to do right now would be to get that remote which controls the country and press mute on it. The country shall fall silent. No protests. See something unpleasant? Just switch the channel. Hey wait, the country has one such perfect remote. It is called the Prime Minister over here. Jai Hind.

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