Poor Prime Minister. I mean, one does feel for him. Rarely. This is one such occasion. PM Narendra Modi is all over the country and abroad saying Swachch Bharat (Clean India: his campaign to make India clean) like it’s a magic spell. His minister Radha Mohan Singh is busy urinating in public.
No Urinal For Union Ministers
One might think that being a minister he would exercise some discretion. At least pretend to be nice? No and welcome to India. Do you know what it takes to be an Indian politician? Thick skin. Politicians here say things that get people fired in seconds and still continue to hold their posts. You know what Singh had to say about his public pee pee? (Please imagine a sad child face) That there was no urinal nearby.
Excuse me sir, so the campaign to end open defecation by the Government was limited to just shitting? What if you had felt like shitting instead of peeing? Just wondering. By the way, do you know what people – intelligent people do when there is a lack of basic facilities? They ask people like you to arrange these facilities. Yeah yeah, irony is the word you are looking for. Like, women come to you and say hey minister we are done with this open defecation shit, make toilets now. You’d be in the middle of taking a poop in the field and saying. Yeah i know, right? Wow!
Nature’s Calling. Minister’s Picking
One would think that the minister justifying his stupid act was it. How many times do I have to remind you. This is India, da. Not only the culprit but all his supporters will give their useless opinion on any act of shame. State BJP spokesperson Rajib Ranjan opened his mouth on the incident this way: “One cannot suppress nature’s call for long. What do you do if you are travelling long distances and there are no public urinals on the way? There is absolutely nothing wrong in what the minister did”, he said to Hindustan Times.
Nature’s call? Yeah. So easy for you huh? What if a woman was to answer the nature’s call the way your minister did? Go ahead, say that nature doesn’t call women because it has only men’s number. Do you know that women get raped because of lack of toilets? That they never go alone for open defecation? Oh that’s right. How would you know. Your line is busy because you are ‘answering nature’s call’.
The Peeing Penis Collection
It’s no big deal. Every day when you walk on Indian streets you see plenty of men urinating away on roads. If you are an Indian, seeing random penises passing urine is part of your life. It sounds gross but that is because it is gross. Like Arundhati Roy once said, Indian men think that it is okay to leave their shit everywhere for others to clean. India trains ‘others’ to clean. In India sometimes ‘cleaning one’s shit’ is literal. So Union agriculture minister Singh urinating in public and drawing attention is not really news. This time it so happened that we got a name to the peeing penis.
One genuine doubt aa. We know that you urinated. We know that you are a minister. So…err…as a man who shakes a lot of hands in a day, after you did your little act to fame, did you, you know, use the same hand that held your dick to…YUCK!